Won't be like this for long
by justformemories
Summary: Based on a Darius Rucker Song, Bucky gets a chance at something he never thought he could have.


Bucky didn't sleep like a normal person anymore. He probably hadn't slept like a "normal" person since before the war. In these circumstances he wouldn't sleep anyways. He held his girl tightly in arms; one flesh, one metal; warm and cold. He watched the lights dance across the ceiling as he reminisced about earlier that evening.

"Damn Steve put her down gently!" he whisper yelled as Steve placed the baby carrier gently on the floor. Steve glanced up and cocked an eyebrow.

"Bucky, relax. She's fine. She's as light as a feather, the carrier adds weight." Steve had insisted on helping bring the baby home (even if it was only a few floors up in the tower) and was currently regretting that decision. Bucky held Victoria tenderly, guiding her towards the bedroom. She stifled a giggle and squeezed Bucky's flesh hand.

"Hun, might I remind you that you trust Steve with your life, my life and you ultimately do trust him with our daughter? She won't break. She's from strong stock." Victoria smiled and leaned against Bucky heavily. "Can we just stay here for a moment? I'm a bit worn out…and don't you dare pick me up James Buchanan Barnes. I am fine. Just need a moment" Bucky's blue eyes were blown wide with anxiety. He walked her to the recliner and helped her angle the seat for her comfort. Steve had picked up the pink bundle and held her tenderly in his massive arms. Victoria giggled outright as she watched the Super Soldier rock the baby slowly. Bucky watched him like a hawk.

"Bucky I can feel your eyes burning into me, relax jerk." Bucky flinched a little. He muttered under his breath and went to the kitchen to get Victoria a drink of water. He constantly looked over his shoulder as he reached for the glass. The new born squeaked out a cry and the glass shattered. He moved swiftly into the living room and frantically reached for the baby. Steve had knelt next to Victoria in the recliner and was handing the infant over to her mother.

"James you need to calm down…" Victoria tucked her daughter into her arms and traced a finger over her pink cheek. He hovered over his ladies and tried to calm his breathing. He could handle stealth missions but his daughter crying, that threw him for a loop. Steve stood and patted his friend on the back.

"Buck, she's fine, just wanted her mama." Bucky gave a tight nod. He reached forward with his flesh hand and stopped hesitantly. Their daughter had turned her face and the feather like dark hair poked out from the pink blanket. She blinked her eyes and yawned softly. Their hearts melted and Steve could swear he saw a misting in Bucky's eyes. They never thought either of them would have a chance at this, having a family. Having a life that they had talked about when they were boys. That life had been ripped away from both of them, each in a different way. Steve had come back sooner to this new life and had adapted faster than Bucky. Each day was still a struggle for him. Victoria was a surprise and delight because she gave just as much as he did. By no means was she perfect. But they completed each other. When she panicked, he was calm and steady; her rock. When he was angry, she was his anchor to reality. An anchor that reminded him that he wasn't HYDRA anymore, he was good and could do good in life, just like he had before the war. Emma had been a surprise for both of them and had actually scared years off of Bucky's life. He had hidden himself away leaving Victoria alone in the first few months of pregnancy. Steve had stepped in and helped her; she cried a lot on his shoulder and Bucky couldn't forgive himself for it. The moment that Victoria and Emma could have been taken away smacked him in the face and reality hit home. Victoria had horrible morning sickness and wasn't able to keep anything down. Bruce had already admitted her when she had started bleeding. Push came to shove and Steve forced him to "man up" and be there. He'd seen her pale and drawn in the bed, she had seemed so tiny and the little bump that protruded from her stomach caught his attention. He never left her side from that moment on. He had helped create that bump, that life, and he damn well was going to make sure that it arrived safely into the world.

Blinking, he listened as a small cry rang out through the hallway and echoed into their room. He shifted easily away, barely moving Victoria and crept down the hall. He made his way into baby's room and lifted her from her bed. He moved to the rocking chair, Emma snuggled close the crook in Bucky's neck, his skin keeping her warm. He had worn dark lounge pants and no shirt to bed. Emma whimpered softly and shuffled closer to her father's neck, he rubbed his metal hand soothingly up and down her back.

"It's ok baby doll. Daddy's got you. I got ya sweetheart" he swayed her gently, back and forth. The minutes passed into the hours and soon the dawn light broke through the windows. Emma was beginning to stir and Bucky took that as the time to get up and get her ready for the day. He changed her and dressed her in a light pink lounge suit. He wrapped her in the pink blanket they had brought her home in the day before. Today they would have plenty of visitors and his daughter needed to be comfortable. He walked with her tucked close to his chest, still snug as a bug in a rug next to his neck. He flipped the switch for the coffee pot and sat at the table, cradling his baby girl in his arms.

"It won't be like this forever you know." Victoria smiled and kissed Bucky's cheek. He nodded stiffly.

"I know, but for now she's our little princess. You should have let me know you were up." He looked up into Victoria's blue eyes and smiled. She tilted her head slightly and kissed him gently. "Good morning sweetheart."

"Good morning papa. Are we going to school today?" Emma's sweet voice filled the kitchen. Victoria smiled as she placed the breakfast plate in front of her daughter. Bucky smiled softly at his daughter.

"You sure you're ready pumpkin?" The little girl nodded eagerly. There was a quick knock at the door before Steve walked into the apartment.

"Uncle Steve!" The little girl squealed. She jumped from her chair and lunged for her uncle's legs. "Are you going to take me to school today? Papa said only big girls can go to school and I've been practicing real hard to be a big girl!" Steve reached down and picked up his goddaughter in arms.

"Of course sugar, I wouldn't miss it!" His grin reached his ears.

"Papa don't go!" Emma wrapped her tiny body around her father's legs. They had walked by the school plenty of times and for months before hand had talked about how she would go there in the starting in fall and stay for the day. Tony had made an argument that Emma was too special to be around "regular" kids. He went as far to interview tutors and teachers until Victoria put her foot down. Money had nothing to do with it. Emma deserved a normal life, she would start school with the other children in the area and they would take it one day at a time. Bucky and Steve did background checks on every person that worked at the school even those that were only temporarily. Students, too, had background checks. There was really no arguing with the Winter Soldier and Captain America, their pride and stubborn streak ran as deep as the Marianas Trench.

"Emma, sweetheart, you're gonna be fine" Steve reached for the little girl's arms. She screeched and clung tighter to her fathers' legs. The teacher simply smiled. Have you ever imagined Captain America and the Winter Soldier helpless? It was actually a funny sight. The teacher knelt and pried the little girl's arms off of her fathers' leg. She whispered something in her ear and the little girl let a small smile perch itself on her face. The teacher called a name out and a little boy came running forward. He had dirty blonde hair and sea green eyes. He waved and said hello and held his hand out for her and she took it and waved a small hand at her father before following the little boy. Bucky held back a growl and sighed. Steve patted his shoulder. The teacher stood up.

"This'll happen a couple more times. She'll get used to it soon enough. It won't be like this forever, just stay strong." Bucky nodded and turned for the door.

"I'm still surprised she has so much hair" Pepper sighed happily. As soon as it was announced that the baby was a girl she had run right out and bought as many hair accessories and clothes as she possibly could. Currently the newborn in her arms was wearing a pink headband with white and pink feathers with crystals adorning it. Bucky leaned against a wall and shook his head, his arms crossed over his chest. Victoria just beamed.

"I'm very happy she has hair. I'm also very happy she didn't get my nose" She laughed.

"I like your nose thank you very much" Bucky huffed. Tony cocked an eyebrow.

"Well she got your nose and your hair, so I'm still happy."

Steve walked into the room with a mug of coffee. He gestured with the mug at the headband Emma wore, "She won't let you do that for long…better get all the pictures you can. Bet ya she'll be a little terror like Bucky." He chuckled and sipped from the mug.

"Or like me….I was a hellion." Victoria grinned. Bucky had talked with her mother and learned about child leashes, because Victoria had always run off, then she would dart off with the leash pulled tight and trip people between her and her mother.

"Either way she'll be a terror, definitely" Tony nodded. "But at least for now she's an angel." Bucky nodded again.

"Dad! You can't be serious!" Emma screamed. "It's not even a single date! It's just a group of us going together! I'm 16, I'm an adult! I've known Sebastian since kindergarten. We aren't dating. That's just gross."

"So you're an adult now? Good, go get a job and pay your portion of that telephone bill!" he yelled right back. Victoria rubbed at her temples. Steve just shook his head. Emma had her father's charm, her mother's brain and both of their tempers.

"I would get a job if I was allowed to leave this stupid house!" She stomped her way to her room and slammed her door.

"Little girl that is a door, not a punching bag!" Bucky picked up his tool bag and went to work removing the door from its hinges. Emma screeched at the top of her lungs.  
"Mom! Mommy! Did you see what he did to my door?!"

Victoria sighed. "Yes…but we have told you about slamming doors. When you're responsible enough to listen and pay attention to your surroundings, you'll get your door back."

"I hate you! I hate all of you! You're ruining my life! "She screamed and threw herself dramatically onto her bed, tears staining the satin on her pillow.

"Buck…you do know we have can have her monitored at all times. You have to let her grow up sometime. "Steve said slowly, evenly. "Hell, Natasha gets along great with the kids, let her watch them." Bucky glared at his best friend.

A few days later, late in the night, the baby cried and Bucky listened to her, his eyes focused on a single point on the ceiling in their bedroom. Victoria had been taking care of Emma herself since Bucky and the rest of the Avengers had been called away on a mission. It had ended quickly but between clean up and briefings, Bucky had barely been able to see his daughter. If she was awake he wasn't around, if she was asleep Bucky was home; ever watchful. Victoria had said Emma was starting to sleep through the night, except tonight. Bucky fought to ignore the cries, hoping Emma would cry herself back to sleep. He loved his princess, but he didn't want to make her too dependent. If she was going to be dependent it would be best if it was on her mother, he wasn't always there. He'd focused his thoughts on this while on the mission, hell he had thought of it when Victoria announced her pregnancy, during the pregnancy and every time he was or would be called away.

Finally frustrated Bucky rose from his bed and padded down the hallway. Emma had cried herself into hiccups and her blanket was pushed to the end of the crib. Her face was splotchy red, tear marks glistened in the lights through her windows. Bucky's gut clenched. How could he be such a fool? So stubborn? He rushed to his tiny daughter and scooped her up into his arms. She let out a pitiful whimper.

"I am so sorry my princess, so sorry. Daddy should have been here sooner." She slowly shook her head against his chest, as if to say no. She settled after a few moments, snuggling into her father's neck, her favorite spot. She didn't care that there was metal a few inches away, he clutched her closer. He picked up the blanket and wrapped it around her and sat in the rocking chair.

"You won't always need me sweet girl, but I will need you as long as I live. You and your mother. Don't ever forget that. You won't be this size forever, won't need my snuggles, but I will. These days are flying by and I'm sorry I've been such a stubborn father. Since I came home, since your Uncle Steve helped to save me, I never thought I would have anything that would resemble a normal life. Then your mommy came along and she gave me you. So I'm going to love you till the end of the line. I'm not looking forward to you growing up, but I'll be there, no matter what. You're so very lucky, you have so many people that love you and will protect you." Bucky continued on, rocking her gently, Emma snuggling closer to her father and early in the morning Victoria woke up and turned on a pot of coffee.


End file.
